Wednesday, February 17, 2010

#67

The funny thing about headbutts is that the person receiving the headbutt is the only one who gets hurt. The headbutt-er is, for reasons possibly unknown and definitely unfair, oblivious to the pain. I conducted a long experiment in this phenomenon while sharing my bed with Jack from birth to about 2 years. I would be awoken by blinding pain (you know the kind where you actually see a flash of light behind your closed eyes?) only to see my beloved son sleeping soundly, inches from my face, seemingly unfazed by the brutal trauma he had just inflicted upon his slumbering father. After several months of this nightmare scenario, I developed a habit of sleeping with one arm wrapped around my head, and my other hand placed strategically between my legs. Although the frequency of the attacks intimated a sly malice, I bore no ill-will toward my little boy, because I am a parent, and we are suckers.

Although the (blissful?) days of co-sleeping are behind us, my two boys still get their licks in during evening cuddle-time and any other instance of close proximity. An especially dangerous time is the “Bunny Burrow”, the boys #1 activity, which involves variations on the theme of piling up blankets, crawling under them, giggling, and cuddling. All in all, a wholesome event, but prohibitively dangerous to adults (see headbutt analysis, above). I have personally suffered split lips, bruised pride, and my personal favorite, “Oh my god you just broke my tooth! Ahhh! Did you break my tooth? Is it broken? No? Oh thank god…”

The other day, I was summoned to a Bunny Burrow, and having been away from the boys for several days and missing them terribly, I let my guard down and acquiesced. After crawling under the blankets and receiving a few licks from Isaac ("Isaac, please don’t kick me in the face, OK? Yes, that’s my face. Stop kicking!") I see Jack’s little hand thrust into the blanket-tent. He’s offering a kitchen towel.

“Here, Dad.”

“Oh, thanks, Jack. What’s this for?”

“In case you need to wipe up some blood.”

No comments:

Post a Comment